Can She See Herself With You?

A beautiful portrait of a very beautiful girl
When it comes to getting a girlfriend there’s a hidden box you have to tick in a girl’s mind.

See…she may find you funny, she may like you, she may think you’re a nice guy, she may enjoy your company….but if she can’t see herself with you…it’s not going to happen!

If she can’t picture you and her doing the kind of things that couples do, like having great sex, or watching movies together, or having a barbecue with friends, or going for dinner in a nice restaurant, or meeting her parents…then you’re friend zone material!

Why does she need to be able to see herself with you? Isn’t it all just about attraction and turning a girl on?

Because her social standing is important to her. Just as important as how you make her feel. See, just like you, she doesn’t live in a vacuum.

When she takes you to meet her friends she doesn’t want her friends to come to her afterwards and say: “You could do better, you know” or “I am not sure he’s the right guy for you” or simply not say much at all….She wants them to like you, admire her for having caught you in her net and be impressed with what you do and who you are. Because that makes her feel proud. And gives her social proof. And simply makes her look good and like good things are happening for her.

An extreme example is celebrities. The amount of social proof women get from being with a celebrity is massive. So of course women are going to give you a chance if you’re famous.

I know People don’t talk about this stuff a lot. We like to imagine that we don’t have these basic drivers. That we are independent of other people’s opinions.

But it matters to women, to us, to everyone. Why do so many women or men spend time posting pictures and updates about exciting things they have done? Because it makes them look good and enhances their perception of themselves and especially other people’s perception of them.

So…that’s why she needs to be able to see herself with you. She needs to see you as IMPROVING her social standing, rather than LOWERING it.

So what do you need to do? Here are some basic tips on making it  easy for a girl to be able to see herself with you:



You don’t need to look like a greek god or a male model BUT you need to look like you respect yourself and your body. That includes having clean finger nails, a good haircut, grooming, stylish clothes that fit and make you look your best and confident positive body language.

In other words, by putting a little bit of effort into these basics you can get her to feel reassured that her friends are going to respect you and look at you as someone that’s a great guy for her to be with.



You don’t need to be a CEO of  a million dollar tech start up BUT you need to have goals and dreams in your life that you are working towards.

In other words, she herself doesn’t want to feel like she’s going to have to look after you because you’re so lazy. And when her friends or her parents are going to ask you what you do for a living, she wants them to feel impressed and interested in who you are and what you do. She doesn’t want them to disapprove and question her judgement in falling for a no hoper.

If you’re curious about how to develop the mindset of a go getter who achieves their goals then click here



You don’t need to be the life and soul of the party all the time BUT you need to be able to handle social situations with grace, ease and charm. You need to have a positive attitude to people, strangers, friends, work colleagues and she needs to see that other people like you and respect you back…So when her friends or family members meet you she can expect them to like you, to compliment her and approve of you.

In other words, she wants to see her social status enhanced because her friends like and respect you and with that, her.
She wants to have a reasonable expectation that you’ll be accepted and liked  by the rest of her relationships because that makes her life great and gives her good feelings.

If you’re serious about becoming a social guy then read this

This is about easy gains. Making sure that a girl would see you as good boyfriend material is a key area that it’s worth being aware of. It’s not all just about attraction and how you make her feel. It’s also about how you would make her look. To herself and the rest of the people in her life. So make sure you don’t ruin things by neglecting the basics.

Learn more about attracting women here

Thanks for reading. Thanks for sharing. Would love to hear your comments about this post.

Enjoy women,
Stephan E.







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